Whose Approval Are You Seeking?

• How many times in the last week have you sought others' approval at the expense of yourself?
  
  
• Every human desires 4 things:
  
  
  • Aliveness
  • Connection
  • Meaningful pursuits
  • Growth
    
    
• It's in the second desire that we can get held up on others' approval. The need we have for this approval as humans is so high that we even seek it from jerks we don't even know or like. Social media makes this a constant problem. This desire for approval may have shaped your childhood and teen years, but is it still there for you in your 20s, 30s, or even 50s or 60s? If so, recognise it, and start bringing that power back to yourself. 
  
  
• Journal when you're too concerned about the opinions of others. Then do these 4 things:
  
  

1. Define your values. When you do this, you'll notice that not everyone has the same values as you do. You need to stand for something, or you'll fall for anything. Work out whose values align with yours. If your values are different, do you really want to do things that will get you approval in a group whose values you don't share?
   
   
2. What are your authentic ambitions? Think of your top professional and life goals. Other people's goals are not yours. Keep remembering your own goals. If you silence yourself a lot to try to fit in, you're not being authentic. Be real with yourself. Get clarity and conviction about who YOU are. The approval of others will matter less.
   
   
3. Notice when you break your boundaries. If you are doing this, or even letting people bend your boundaries too much, you may need to be around different people. 
   
   
4. Demand respect. Do not let people abuse you. Do not become a victim. If you are around people who do not respect you, and refuse to step up and do better, leave. I had this experience in a group recently, where a small number of the members in that group were abusive, swore, name-called, and generally behaved in cruel ways. I tried to reason with them for a short while, then I left. If you allow people to behave like this towards you for too long, you start to get bad insights on your own value. Don't put up with it. You don't need to do so.
    

Today's blog was inspired by some training by Brendon Burchard, inside a community you can join through this link. If you join through my link, take a screen shot when you're in, then message me through the orange button below, or hit reply on any of my emails. If I see your deets in the back office, I'll send you a secret prize to thank you for joining via my link. 

Whether you do or not, keep coming back to my blog and podcast for free training, and send across anyone you think might benefit from learning these things. 

We are going through some challenging times, and it is on all of us to show up bigger, bolder, and more consistently at this time. 

Make today count!

I believe in you.

Rebecca.